


I may not be wise

by lizadurds



Series: I may not be Wise [2]
Category: The Politician (TV 2019)
Genre: F/F, F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-15
Updated: 2020-08-15
Packaged: 2021-03-06 02:41:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,406
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25916029
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lizadurds/pseuds/lizadurds
Summary: What if River never died?
Relationships: Alice Charles/Payton Hobart, River Barkley/Astrid Sloan, River Barkley/Payton Hobart
Series: I may not be Wise [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1890478
Comments: 1
Kudos: 14





	I may not be wise

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys, I'm Eliza and I'm new to writing on AO3 in my youth (by youth I mean like 5 years ago) I used to write boyband fanfics on Wattpad. Then life got on top of me but the Politician fandom high key needs more content so I'm here to provide. Fair warning I haven't written anything since year 8 so this is probably SO bad, but something is better than nothing. I am in year 12 so I might not ever finish this but I want to rewrite every episode. The tile is courtesy of a Tumblr groupchat and means literally nothing to the plot. Here is the pilot I've changed some things around (obviously it's not like I was just going to write the transcript) so take it for what it is. I've also only seen the show 1 and a half times so the original scenes might be totally out of character. Anyways. Enjoy.

“I’m sorry. I really did love you” River puts the gun to his temple and squeezes the trigger.  
The safety switch was still on  
“River” Payton quaked. The gun fell out of River’s shaking hands and onto the floor as River began to sob into Payton’s striped shirt  
“I’m so sorry” River cries

  
**Eighteen Months Earlier**  
Payton is reading _RN: The Memoirs of Richard Nixon_ at the kitchen table as his mother paints with Watercolours. Payton’s mother was in her forties, a beautiful bohemian ray of sunshine. Chicly dressed even when she’s painting but not stuffy or trying hard. The twins walk into the kitchen and grab Gatorade out of the fridge.  
“I want to bag a Shiras moose.” Martin says  
“I want to bag a Bengal tiger.” Luther responds  
Payton and his mother share a look.  
“I want to bag Margaret Edmund Myers.”  
“I already did! Full bush.”  
They exchange a high five.  
Fed up with his brothers Payton pipes up “First of all, it’s illegal to hunt Bengal tigers, second when you talk about bagging things you sound like douchebags -- especially with your mother in the room.”  
“You should totally come hunting with us, Payton.” Luther says, but the mere thought is repulsive to Payton  
“Then we can accidentally shoot you in the back.” Martin remarked  
“That’s enough.” Georgina snaps  
They both give their mother a kiss on each cheek  
“That’s good, Mom.” Martin stated pointing to the painting of a ten-year-old boy  
“It’s for a series I’m doing to raise money and awareness for the Syrian war dead. Orhan was killed in an airstrike earlier this year.” Georgina smiles  
“Bummer.”  
The twins begin to leave but Georgina stops them “Will you be back for dinner”  
“No, we have that event in support of eliminating net neutrality.” Martin remarked  
“How can you be for eliminating net neutrality?” Payton questions  
“This family holds fifty-four million dollars’ worth of telecom stocks.”  
“He doesn’t care. He’s barely in the will.”  
“Boys!” Georgina cries  
“Why are you always defending him” Luther cried distraughtly  
“Because you’re bullies and borderline psychopaths.” Georgina states matter-of-factly  
They laugh, high five and leave Payton and Georgina alone  
Of course you’re in the will --same as them -- I made sure of it.” Georgina says worriedly   
She pulls a pack of cigarettes out of her pocket, opens the window and lights one  
“Don’t tell your father.” She gives Payton a look  
“I read a study from Columbia that it’s impossible for a parent to love an adopted child as much as a biological one. Parents are programmed to be drawn to the children that look the most like them. I would assume it has something to do with protecting bloodlines.” Payton walks over to his mother  
“I say that study is flawed because I love you the most. Always have.” Georgina smiles  
“You’re saying that because they grew up to be such assholes.”  
“You’re not wrong about that. You can’t teach kindness. I tried for a long time, but you can’t do much with small hearts. Hard ones maybe, but not small ones. But it’s not just who they turned out to be. Even when they were babies – and they were stunning babies – I never really jibed with them. For a while I thought it was post-partum depression but after a while, I realized that it was just how it was going to be between them and me. Don’t get me wrong, I love them, but the love has edges, it doesn’t go on and on like my love for you.”  
“You felt that way about me right away?” Payton questions  
“Like you were a part of me. Like we found each other across the universe. It wasn’t a meeting; it was a reunion. You had funny, dark Jewish hair and these big Disney eyes. You were alone in the world and maybe I felt the same way about myself.” Georgina smiles “Never listen to your brothers about who you are or what you’re on your way to doing”  
Payton smiles. The doorbell rings Georgina breaks into a big grin  
“That must be your surprise.” Georgina says  
They walk into an entryway and see the maid letting River inside.  
Georgina and River speak in Mandarin for a moment  
“Pleasure to meet you. Your Mandarin is perfect.” River smiles  
“We’ve travelled extensively in China. Collecting art.” Georgina responds  
River eyes Payton, who is clearly uncomfortable  
“May I use your restroom, please?” River asks Georgina kindly  
“Of course, Theresa will show you the way.” Georgina says River leaves and Georgina turns to Payton “You could have said hello.”  
A nervous Payton wanders upstairs as Georgina follows him.  
“What is he doing here?” Payton questions  
“He’s your new Mandarin tutor. You’re excelling in all of your classes except languages. Well, and P.E. I know you hate it when we all speak Chinese at family dinner.” Georgina’s train of thought wanders off  
“That’s River Barkley, he’s incredibly popular at school.” Payton states fear adamant in his voice  
“So are you.” Georgina remarked  
“Not his kind of popular. And he’s dating Astrid Sloan -- who is my arch-nemesis. She called me a fag in second grade and I’m not even gay!” Payton travels off reaching his bedroom  
“He comes highly recommended. Just give him a try -- at least get him to like you to piss off Astrid Sloan” Georgina smiles  
The warmth of her love and smile always calms him. “Ok.”

  
Later, Payton is sitting at his desk. River is looking at his bookshelf.  
“All of these books are autobiographies. Lincoln, U.S. Grant, Ross Perot, Tina Fey.” River states  
“I think greatness is just the proper activation of inherent abilities. I like to read about how others achieved their greatness so I can mimic what worked. Fake it until you make it.”  
River looks at him  
“What?” Payton questions  
“I fake it a lot too. People think I’m all calm, but I don’t know if I really am. It’s like I’m feeling the whole world at once sometimes. I saw a psychiatrist, Joe Macintosh, and he said that I’m an empath. I react. I exist in relation to what other people need.” River explains  
Payton is awed by his calm simplicity.  
“Where did you learn Mandarin?” Payton asks changing the subject  
“My dad works for Goldman. We lived in Shanghai until I was ten. My nanny was a Buddhist Monk. He taught me karate and Mandarin and all of that Buddhist enlightenment stuff.”  
The two talk in Mandarin for a moment before River asks, “Why are you so tense?”  
“How do you know I’m tense?” Payton changes the subject  
“I just know. You don’t seem happy.” River gazes at Payton  
“Are you happy?” Payton once again makes River the subject matter  
“I try to be.”  
“I try to be too. I really try.” Payton feels a tear fall down his cheek “It’s so hard to have to try so hard all the time.” River wipes away Payton’s tear. That was weird. How did you get me to be vulnerable like that? I’m never like that.” Payton questions  
“I don’t know. That’s just what I do with people. It must have been what you needed.” River smiled lightly  
“What do you need?” Payton questioned  
River switches back to Mandarin “Can I kiss you?” Payton is stunned. River leans in. Kisses him. A long beat. Then, River gets up. Collects his books and exits.

  
Payton sits at a table in a cavernous reading room. He looks up to see Astrid enter, scanning the room by the librarian’s desk. Her eyes meet Payton’s. The librarian speaks and Astrid hands her the ID card but when she turns back Payton is gone.  
Payton walks into the bookshelves, trying not to look like he’s hurrying. He looks behind him. He sees Astrid, who hasn’t spotted him. He turns a corner, then stops. He lost her. He turns down an adjacent aisle and FUCK. She’s standing right at the end, looking right at him. Payton gives a casual smile then has to pretend to look through the books that are right there like that’s what he was trying to do in the first place as Astrid slinks up, icy. Payton picks up a Mandarin English dictionary  
“Ni hau.” Astrid says “So I’m just gonna dive right in. I know what’s going on between you and River. He told me what happened. I was mad at first but then I admired his honesty. River and I have complete transparency. I’ve always known he was fluid; I am too sorta. So if you’re the way he deals with that side of himself, that’s fine. But I want in, too. Come over to my house after school and let’s all get it on.”  
Stunned, Payton doesn’t know what to say except “...okay.”  
She gives a tight smile that’s half-sexy, half-’fuck you’ then turns on her heels and struts off. Off Payton watching her go.

  
**Present Day**  
The two walk the streets of River’s neighbourhood in painful silence  
“I don’t know what came over me Payton. I just felt so… so alone” River pipes up  
“Do you feel that way often?” Payton questions. River just nods in response staring down at his feet. Payton and River walk back into River’s house and he is engulfed by his mother  
“River thank god you’re okay. The maid went in to ask if Payton wanted to stay for dinner and you weren’t there, and she saw your father’s gun and oh my goodness River I was so worried”  
“I’m so sorry” River cries into his mother’s shoulder and Payton felt incredibly out of place until Astrid marches up to the front door  
“What happened?!” Astrid cries pulling her boyfriend away from his mother and into her arms.   
River pulls away from Astrid’s embrace “Calm down. I’m okay”  
“But what happened? Your mum called -and she was so worried- and what’s he doing here” Astrid questions looking Payton up and down  
“Um I was just leaving-“ Payton starts “Call me later okay River” he says turning to leave but River grabs his hand  
“Please stay. Astrid, I’ll explain everything later, but can you go home. I’ll call you tonight”  
“But-“ Astrid starts before fuelling herself with anger and storming away. River gestures for Payton to follow him  
“I love her but she’s-“ River pauses thinking of the word  
“A total bitch?” Payton questions  
“I was gonna say high maintenance” River says sitting on his bed “Do me a favour, don’t tell anybody about this, please. Not even Astrid. I don’t want her to know. Not yet anyway”  
Payton nods understanding “I won’t. but what happened to ‘total transparency’” Payton questions  
“It hasn’t worked out well for me in the past” River smiles “I’ve spent my whole life doing things for other people. But I think it’s time I do something for myself”  
“That’s why you wanted to run for president…” Payton’s voice trailed off with every word  
“That’s part of it yes” River nodded “But I wanted to be closer to you” Payton smiled to himself.

  
Payton enters his house emotionless. He just witnessed River attempt suicide and fail. Payton sees the maid vacuuming but pays her no attention as he trudges up the stairs. Payton turns the shower on and steps in washing away the day. River Payton thought. He had run for student body president to be closer to him. But wouldn’t that just push Payton away? But somehow Payton understood. He knew what River had done and he was enticed by it.  
Payton climbs into bed and stairs up at the ceiling. He feels the bed dip, knowing it’s Georgina he speaks “River tried to kill himself” Payton starts “In front of me”  
“Oh sweetheart” she says  
“It was my fault” Payton says “I was upset about the election and so I went to his house I was screaming. I was just so angry. And he had a gun. I didn’t even see it. Thank god River doesn’t know much about gun anatomy” Georgina brushes her hand against Payton’s head “Should I be crying? If I am, then why aren’t I?” he questions  
“That’s not you. They told me that when you were born you didn’t cry. You just looked at everyone in the room. Furrowed your brow.” Georgina laughs reminiscing the moment  
“Did I cry when I was a child?” Payton wonders  
“When you skinned your knee or bumped your head.”  
“I’m worried that I don’t have feelings like everyone else does. I see people having them and I can imitate them but it’s like I’m the cover of a book but all the pages inside are blank.” River had told him that he felt too much, but Payton couldn’t even imagine what that would be like.  
“A lot of young people have that. Especially nowadays. Modern life isn’t designed for feeling things. You learned to communicate with a machine between you and the other person. I see you guys hanging around texting the person sitting next to you. I understand why you need that protection. The world is throwing so much at you all the time. Information overload.” Georgina explains  
“It’s more than that for me. What if I’m just wired differently? What if I can’t feel? They say sociopaths can’t feel. What if all I will ever be able to do is pretend to feel?” for the first time in his life Payton truly felt scared  
“What does it matter if you can’t tell the difference?” Georgina asks  
Payton just stares at the ceiling. Troubled. Georgina kisses his head.  
“Be kind to River, maybe cancel your tutoring session tomorrow”  
But Payton didn’t want to. He wanted to see River and talk to him.

  
Payton is standing in a classroom as Alice ties his black tie for him. McAfee is talking but every word is going over Payton’s head. He can’t stop thinking about River. What if he had succeeded. Where would he be now. Payton prepares himself to walk out on stage at the assembly, but he can’t even remember what it was for. Overwhelmed with emotion he didn’t know he had Payton walks onto the stage. Everything is a blur as Payton begins to speak. He zones out mid speech but comes back for his conclusion  
“And now, River Barkley, My tutor, friend and opponent. May the best man win” Payton grows dizzy and stumbles off stage   
“What the hell was that?” James asks  
“That was like the worst speech you’ve ever given” McAfee adds  
“Payton darling if you need to slow down you can” Alice says reassuringly placing a hand on Payton’s arm  
“No” Payton brings himself back to reality “I need to see River” Payton says sneaking into the audience  
“Thank you, Payton,” River smiles right at him “I really appreciate it” River begins to speak but again Payton zones out. He just sees River’s mouth moving but the words coming out don’t process.

  
“Payton?” Payton hears River’s voice and he opens his eyes to reveal the tiny sick room of his high school and his friends surrounding them  
“I should have seen this coming” Alice sighs  
“It’s not your fault” Payton sits up to console his girlfriend  
“After your disaster of a speech your votes are down 10%” McAfee pipes up  
“Can you stop talking about the election for two minutes” Alice snaps  
“Sorry I thought you wanted your boyfriend to win” McAfee retorts  
“He just passed out” Alice points to Payton  
“Everyone calm down, so this is a curveball none of us could have anticipated, we all made a mistake” James says  
“I’m sorry but we can’t make this up in such a small timeframe” McAfee says looking down at her phone  
“Unless we get some imaginary votes –“ James is cut off by McAfee  
“Should we be talking about this in front of River” McAfee points to the obvious elephant in the room  
“Chill out guys he can stay” Payton says. “You guys go. Text me later” Payton says   
“But-“ Alice questions before realising James and McAfee had already left. She runs after them trying to catch up  
“We can’t beat him. River’s still got all the sympathy votes from his story about the suicide” James says  
“Do you think it’s even true?” McAfee asks  
“That doesn’t matter. We just need a way to claim the non-lesbian gays and bisexuals from Skye” James continues  
“There is the threesome” McAfee suggests  
“That’s not going to work. River is literally the other candidate” James says  
“Threesome?” Alice questions clearly hurt. James and McAfee jump not knowing she was there  
“He didn’t tell you” McAfee sighs  
“I think you should talk to Payton” James says  
“It doesn’t matter. He’s clearly stressed as it is. Just tell me how are we going to steal the votes” Alice questions  
“We don’t know” McAfee starts  
“At the moment, the only option seems to be the panic button. Get River to drop Skye and take Payton as his vice” James continues  
“Payton won’t go for that” Alice shakes her head  
“She’s right” Payton walks up behind them  
“What is it with you two and scaring the living daylights out of us” McAfee exclaims  
“I’m not a good person. But I’m also not a bad person. And that’s the kind of man who makes the best political leader. Because I make all of my choices based on what is right or wrong right now. In this place. At this moment. Being good is no replacement for doing good. Yes, I have a plan for myself. For all of us. But what’s the point of any of it if we are not using our special gifts and talents to make things better right here and right now? I can make this school better. I know that. This is my chance to improve lives and I intend to take it. You think interviewing students from the special education class was just pure ambition? An egocentric lark? At the beginning perhaps, but now I am illuminated. But River cares about them as well. I learned from them. I can help them if I’m elected, more inclusion in school events, more qualified tutors, specialised lunch nutrition plans I will implement those things for those people. Looking out for those with less, that’s what we are about people. I can make a difference. Here first. The world tomorrow”  
They all smile  
“I’m glad you’re back” Alice says  
“Yeah I was getting worried. You were going soft there for a moment” James says  
“Tell us what to do” Alice says  
“The only deal I intend to make with River is for him to drop out”  
“Why would he ever do that” McAfee asks  
“He won’t, so I have to find another way to beat him”  
“We could kill him?” McAfee shrugs  
“McAfee!” Payton exclaims “No. We will follow the lead of the great allied commanders who liberated the European continent once they secured the beachhead. One block at a time. One town at a time. One mile at a time. One step at a time. Our first step? Getting one of those special ed kids to be my running mate”   
James and McAfee leave, and Alice is about to follow them, but Payton stops her  
“You’re upset” he says  
“She’s very smart. And driven. Like a girl version of you in some ways. I understand why you would have been attracted to her” Alice looks down  
“Who?”  
“Astrid”  
“I’m not attracted to her. Her femininity is cold. I’m drawn to warmth like my mother”  
“Do you think she’s prettier than me”  
“It wasn’t about being with her”   
With those words Alice understood everything. It wasn’t about Astrid, or Alice, it was about River, emotion builds up within her, but she plays strong “It’s okay. I’m sorry I reacted the way I did. It’s not my place to question the steps you take on your journey to greatness” Alice sighs  
“You’re allowed to have feelings”  
“Feelings are a small picture. I know I’m allowed to have them. I just never want me having them to be your problem” she says trying to hide how hurt she is. She kisses his cheek and walks away.

  
Payton pulls into the driveway. gets out of his car.-- Payton grabs his things. starts walking across the lawn to the front door. Martin and Luther on horseback. Arm themselves with super soaker water guns.-- Payton moves across the lawn. Lost in thought. -- The horse. two horses now break into a gallop. Head out across the lawn. Payton senses something. Turns to see his brothers on their beautiful mounts. Riding right at him. He picks up his pace. Looks ahead to the front door. Will he make it before they run him down? He starts walking faster. Running. But they are almost on him. Finally, they gallop by him, making him flinch. They start to circle him. No escape.  
“Your continued abuse of me makes no sense! We are family! We are brothers.” Payton tries to remain calm  
“Luther and I are brothers. You are a pigmy. A stain. One of those fish that attaches itself to the bottom of a shark.” Martin says   
“A remora.” Luther responds  
“A parasite.” Martin joins in  
“Mom loves me more than she loves you. She told me herself.” Payton retorts  
“That’s not true!” Martin cries holding back tears of his own.

“Shut up, dude.” Luther lightly slaps Martin “Don’t show any emotion” he mumbles quietly out of Payton’s ear shot “We all know that Mother’s love is not what you want. And it’s not some pretty girl tickling your nuts and it’s not a brass band playing “Hail to the Chief” every time you walk in the room. What you really want is to be us.” Luther continues  
“Absolutely, who wouldn’t secretly wish to be two giant pricks on horseback?” Payton rolls his eyes  
With the psychic connection only two twins have, the boys simultaneously attack Payton with their super-soakers. Knocking him to the ground with the force of the water. They laugh hysterically and gallop away. Leaving him alone and wet. Payton soaking wet comes inside to see his mother labelling boxes  
“What’s all this?” Payton questions  
“I’m collecting our old clothes to send them off to the Yemeni refugee camps. It’s getting quite cold there” she pauses looking Payton up and down “You’re all wet. Go up to your room and change. There’s something we need to talk about”

  
Payton pulls on a dressing gown as his mother enters carrying an envelope. She sits down on Payton’s bed  
“This came today” Georgina hands the envelope to him. Payton is stunned silent. It was from Harvard admissions “Open it” she smiles  
“Schrödinger’s cat. At this moment, before I open the envelope I both got into Harvard and didn’t get in. Multiple realities. Then I will open it and one will collapse on the other and my future will no longer be a possibility. It will just be.” Payton’s voice trails of clutching the envelope in his hand  
“How long would you like to live in quantum superposition? Because the anticipation is killing me!” They share a smile. He loves how smart she is and how well she understands him.  
“Just a moment longer.” then he opens it. A deep breath, then he reads quickly as the letter falls from his hands onto the floor. Payton falls backwards on his bed and covers his face with his hands Georgina picks up the letter. Confused.  
“Waitlisted? Oh, sweetheart.” Georgina sighs. Payton picks up a pillow on his bed and screams into it  
“A lifetime of focus and planning! Carefully studying applications that I obtained on the black market to pinpoint the exact combination of extracurriculars and test scores to optimise my chances at acceptance. Three years on that stupid literary magazine, model UN, Costa Rica Mother fucking Mandarin” Payton takes the letter tearing it to pieces in a fit of rage  
“Mandarin wasn’t so bad right” a voice appeared in the doorway  
“River” Payton sits up. Georgina vanished from the room almost seamlessly. River lays down on the bed next to him  
“They didn’t say no” River says calmly  
“This is worse than no! this is ‘let’s wait and see if we find anyone better!’ this is ‘even if we take you, you were our second choice!’ why didn’t they take me? they took my fucking brothers but they didn’t take me” Payton cries  
“You work hard” River says “I’m sure if you wanted, your mother would be more than happy to bust out some giant donations to the endowment, give them a new black box theatre and a science library, just say the words”  
“I can’t get in like that. People know it. It stays with you. It’s handing your opponent a negative ad on a platter” Payton slumps staring at the wide window crushed with sadness. River takes Payton’s hand in his  
“I’m so sorry, I know how important this was to you”

  
Alice’s stood at the stove in her massive kitchen stirring a pan as Payton munched on crackers. Thomas, Alice’s servant masterfully chops onions nearby as Alice watches on  
“it’s not fine enough” she says. Thomas nods and goes back to chopping, Alice turns to Payton “Stop feeling sorry for yourself. Waitlisted is not ‘no’ and you’re going to get in. you’re he most exceptional human being I’ve met”  
“Hold on” Payton pauses “you must have gotten your letter today as well” Alice looks Payton up and down before responding  
“I’m sure they have an algorithm that demands they take so many women and so many applicants from this group or that. I know it’s not politically correct to say so but let’s face it, being a rich white man in this modern world can be a detriment, yes I got in”  
“Alice, please don’t diminish your accomplishments to soothe my ego. You’re going to be valedictorian; you won a gold medal in fencing in the junior Olympics and you speak six languages. No one deserves to go to Harvard more than you. And I’m so happy or you” He stands up and hugs her genuinely happy for her  
“Well, okay. We can celebrate me. but not tonight. Tonight is about getting you back on your feet, one hundred percent so you can win this election and make this world a better place. Thomas, please go set up your table in the massage room. You’re going to give Payton a treatment as soon as we’re done here. Reiki, cups and acupuncture” Thomas nods and exits  
“You are too good to be true”  
Sometime later Alice joins Payton at the giant table, the room is elegantly furnished as Payton and Alice sit near each other in the corner eating.  
“I have a plan to help you win. But first I need to ask you some questions. And I need you to answer me honestly. No judgement” Alice says  
“I swear”  
“What happened at River’s house that day? I mean if nothing happened you can just say so. But there are rumours going around that he tried to kill himself in front of you and then kicked Astrid out”  
“I think that’s a question for River” Payton explains nervously  
“Okay. Now what about the threesome. What happened? did you penetrate either of them? Did he penetrate you?” Alice says calmly  
“No one penetrated me. well a finger”  
“Whose?” Alice questions  
“I can’t be sure. I think it was Astrid’s, she wears a ring”  
“The one with the red stone”  
“I think it’s a ruby” Payton says trying to subtly change the subject  
“Did you enjoy it? Not just the finger, the whole thing?”  
“Yes. I enjoyed a lot. I don’t think I’m bisexual though. I don’t fantasise about other men or get turned on seeing them naked”  
“But River. He’s different, why?”  
“He makes me feel things”  
“Sexual things?” Alice questions  
“Just things. It’s his talent, and I think he knows it too” Payton can’t help but smile remembering the moment only hours earlier where River held his hand. Alice sits back taking everything in  
“We have to break up” she says  
“You just said you wouldn’t judge me!” Payton exclaims  
“Not really break up. We need to pretend to break up in order for you to win the election” Payton looks at her confused before she continues “Right now, you and River are splitting the sympathy vote. I’m going to confess that I cheated on you. It will be a scandal. You will dump me, and everyone will feel sorry for you. I cleared it with McAfee and James. They think it will gain you six to nine points depending how magnanimous you are about the whole thing”  
“But everyone will hate you. They will call you a slut” Payton was in a moral dilemma. On the one hand he loved Alice. On the other he also loved power  
“I love you. This is what Love looks like Payton. This is what sacrifice looks like. This is what it takes to change the world. I am your first lady, today and always. But there are rules”  
“Rules?” Payton questions  
“We will break up for twelve weeks- long enough for you to win and for no one to suspect duplicity on our parts. You will post photos of big sur California, the truffle French fries at hoagies diner on route 14 and cute dogs on your Instagram at least once a day with captions like ‘wish I was here’ and ‘yummy’ and ‘heart emoji’ when you do so I will know you are thinking of me and that I love you” Alice explains  
“A secret code” Payton restates  
“Yes”  
“I love it” Payton smiles  
“And most importantly, when you pass me in the hall you will not pay me any mind, but as soon as we are past each other you will turn and look back. You will have to do this for me, or I won’t be able to survive. this is going to be very challenging for me. I love you so much. I promise to keep my feelings about it to myself, but I am going to need your help. Do you agree to these terms”  
“You are the best thing that will ever happen to me. yes. I agree. I agree” Payton grins before kissing her. Just then, Thomas arrives wearing a spa uniform. He rings a tiny triangle to announce his presence and let Payton know that he’s ready for his treatment.

  
The faces of Alice, James and McAfee are each lit by laptop screens as they plot in the dim lights of Alice’s bedroom  
“I don’t what to say ‘I’m overwhelmed with shame’ that’s too calculated. It sounds fake” Alice says fingers hovering over her keyboard  
“It is fake” James reminds her  
“I broke up with Payton tonight. I guess you could say I cheated on him, though it’s more complicated than that. I will not name the other party involved at this time out of respect for their family” Alice reads off the screen  
“that’s good. Mysterious. Really makes you lean in” McAfee compliments  
“Post it” James says. Alice then takes a deep breath. Looks at the two of them then down at the keyboard and hits post. A comment immediately pops up on the screen beneath the post _Bitch_ Alice has to look away. She closes the laptop filled with pain, but James and McAfee don’t look up  
“This is good” James says  
“Jesus. People are frigging animals. These comments are brutal” McAfee proclaims  
“Yeah, this is really good” James responds. Alice dials her phone; Payton picks up alone on his bed. He says nothing  
“Hi, I didn’t like doing that” Alice says seeking comfort  
“I know. It’s the right thing to do” Payton responds  
“Hey Payton. We’re ready when you are buddy” James pipes in  
“kay” with that Payton hangs up the phone. He looks down at the post he’s drafted on his laptop _I’m heartbroken_ that’s all. He hits post and a moment later he receives a like, a love and then several more comments. He hits refresh at the top of his screen and the number of likes jumps from 4 to 56 in an instant

The following day Payton walks down the hallway at school a girl mumbles a sympathetic “I’m sorry” to him wincing and shrugging as Payton continues to walk. A couple of guys in letterman jackets identical to River’s slap him on the shoulder consoling him briefly. Payton spots a group of students gossiping in the walkway, but they stop when they see Payton. They were talking about him. Word has spread  
“Payton” he turns his head to see river “I’m sorry to hear about Alice. She seemed like a lovely girl” River smiles sympathetically  
“Yeah she was” River places a hand on Payton’s shoulder. His immediate response was to shrug it off, but something stopped him  
“But I trust I’ll see you this afternoon for our tutoring session?” River questions. Payton just nods in response then catches up to James in the hallway. James engulfs Payton in a huge hug and in a raised voice says  
“Hey man, I’m really sorry” before lowering his voice to a whisper “Numbers look great. This was a stroke of genius; I wish I’d thought of it” James walks off and Payton looks around at the sympathetic faces that pass him. He suppresses a wry smile before he spots Alice at the end of the hallway walking towards him. Her face is stony against the vicious looks and snickers as she passes. She holds her head up and does her duty parading through the vicious throng. Payton walks toward her. She plays the role she was given. Makes no eye contact as they pass. Onlookers clock this. Alice knows what they are all thinking _What a bitch_ a slap on Payton’s back and another “I’m sorry man” as he continues to walk. There’s a glimmer in Payton’s eye. _This is working_ he thinks to himself. At the other end of the hallway Alice follows the rules – she stops and turns to look back at Payton. Except he doesn’t turn back. She watches his back as he rounds the corner out of sight. A right punch to the gut. She just stands speechless.

  
Infinity and her boyfriend, Ricardo, lay on an old mattress making out. Her wheelchair and his car are parked nearby. Ricardo is a little greasy. Appearing to have a low IQ. But is very attractive and loves Infinity. He pauses their kissing for a moment before saying “You think I should start collecting pigeons? People do that ya know”  
“Why would you want to do that?” Infinity questions  
“Because a man should have a hobby. I’m nineteen now. I think I should get more serious about my future.” Ricardo explains  
“Your kisses taste like Dr. Pepper.” Infinity smiles  
He gets up. Suddenly MAD. Lights a cigarette. Grabs his can of Dr. Pepper.  
“Did I say something wrong?” Infinity questions  
“I don’t want to do this anymore. I’m done with this.” Ricardo snaps  
“With me?” Infinity whispered  
“With making out in the woods on a dirty mattress! I love you, Infinity Maybelline. You’re my whole life. You got class. I mean, you’ve been to Disney and seen Taylor Swift live in concert.” Ricardo cries  
“I like it out here. It’s quiet and I can hear the birds and it smells clean and wet.“ Infinity explains He finishes his can of soda. Tosses it away.  
“It’s your grandma! Your goddamn grandma. She doesn’t let you do anything. She hates me.” Ricardo shouts  
“She got upset by some of the text messages you sent. About stuff you wanted to do to me. Up my bum and all of that.” She justifies  
“Why did you show them to her? That was private for us.” Ricardo snaps  
“She always checks my phone and my computer.”  
“This is my point. How can we be free and together if she’s controlling everything?”  
“I’m very sick, Ricardo. I need her to take care of me.”  
“I can take care of you. I’ve seen how your feeding tube works and I can figure out all of your pills and I’m not afraid of needles so I can give you your shots. We gotta get away from her. Run away and maybe start a Subway franchise or something like that. Get settled. Have kids.” Ricardo’s voice fades as he thinks about his dream life  
“I don’t know if I can have kids.” Infinity kills the buzz  
“But we can try all day long. Would you do that? Would you run away with me? I swear all I would do is work to make you the happiest girl in the world.” Ricardo exclaims  
Infinity Maybelline smiles. Moved. “Yes. But how?”  
“We need some money. A lot of money. I figure like at least two thousand dollars. I don’t know how we can get it but if we can I know we can get out of here and be happy.”  
“Will you come kiss me some more?” Infinity asks. He smiles. Starts making out with her again.

  
Infinity walks through the back door into her kitchen and stops in her tracks. Payton Hobart was in her house. Talking to her grandmother  
“Well Miss fancy britches” Dusty smirks “I just heard that this young man who has gone through so much has invited you to be his running mate in the school election and you turned it down. Will you explain that to me?” she questions  
“I just don’t want all that attention” Infinity says taking a seat across from her grandmother  
“Oh don’t you lie to me young lady. You were the one that asked me to call the channel 13 news team to get you a free trip to Legoland and you just about wet yourself the second they turned the camera on you, you were so excited” Dusty spits  
“Infinity, Ms Jackson, I’ve seen all the local news stories on you, and they’re so inspiring, but I think this could be even bigger. I think this could be a national news story. Infinity, you could become the voice of a generation of handicapable children. You could be on good morning America or Ellen and at the risk of sounding vulgar” Payton pauses for a moment “It’s worth remembering that you could parlay something like that into serious regular income just off Instagram alone” Infinity pauses for a moment. That could be money for her and Ricardo  
“Wait. Do you seriously think we could get money from this?” Dusty pipes in  
“I absolutely do” Payton smiles “Ms Jackson. As you may know, I come from a family of considerable means and I can’t imagine how difficult it is raising a child on a single income, let alone a granddaughter with such acute medical issues. If it were at all helpful, I’d be more than happy to provide you with a cash loan that could be used for anything- paying off medical bills, buying a new car-“ Payton is cut off  
“No. I know what you’re doing. You’re just throwing money around like it’s nothing” Infinity snaps  
“Infinity Maybelline” Dusty bites  
“He’s fake Nana, I don’t believe anything he says” Infinity exclaims  
“That is not the way we speak to guests in this house” Dusty snaps before turning to Payton “I am so sorry-“   
“No, she’s right” Payton cuts her off “I’m at risk of losing the election and then my girlfriend broke up with me. and I don’t think I’ve processed any of it. I keep acting like everything’s normal. I ‘m going through the motions like nothing happened. but it did and I know it did. And I still. I can’t feel anything” Payton pauses feeling tears well in his eyes “You’re right Infinity. I’m a fake. You shouldn’t believe anything I say because I don’t know that I believe it either. I think that’s why I want you for my running mate. You’re authentic, you’re real and I can’t face the truth because the truth is-“ Payton bursts into tears  
“The truth is that I love him. Oh god I love him so much and I’ve never told anyone that before” the emotions come pouring out of him uncontrollable. He’s overcome with wracking sobs and Dusty tries to comfort him “I love him. I love him” he repeats over and over. Dusty wraps her arm around him but he cannot be consoled   
“Oh Payton it’s okay” She says  
“River I love you. I love you so much I’m so sorry” Payton repeats those words over and over again and he dissolves into painful all body shaking and wailing. Infinity looks on stunned, moved. She wiggles her chair towards him and puts a hand on his trembling body.  
“I’m sorry Payton. I believe you. I believe you now” she says but Payton keeps crying hysterically   
Moments later Payton is sitting in his car still in the Jackson family driveway. In dead silence Payton sits behind the wheel, staring out at a middle distance, a blank unfeeling look on his face. _What the fuck was all that exactly?_ He thinks to himself. Was it all an act or was it real? After a long moment he picks up his phone and dials a number. A muffled voice answers and Payton simply says  
“we got her” before driving off  
McAfee and James stand in a sizable crowd surrounding Payton who is mid announcement  
“Because I think that’s what life is all about isn’t it? It’s not about avoiding adversity, it’s about how we handle the tough times when they come barging into our lives, destroying everything we hold dear” Payton looks down for a moment before continuing “That’s why I’ve got someone special with me today. This is a girl we’ve all met but she’s someone I don’t think a lot of us really know. And I think the reason I find her so inspiring is because I look at my life- and what’s happened in the past few weeks, or even the past few hours does not compare to the struggles that this young woman faces every day. But she looks at the future with hope, and optimism and a sense of humour – Infinity Maybelline, you inspire me. that’s why I’m proud to introduce you today as my running mate – the next vice president of St Sebastian High school. Infinity Maybelline Jackson” cheering surges through the audience as Payton helps Infinity up the stairs. She drinks it all in, the happiest day of her entire life  
“Thank you! Oh my gosh! Hi! Thank you!” she exclaims staring out at the audience around her. Payton steps down off the steps and nearly trips over Andrew, a kid with Cerebral Palsy. He’s taken aback  
“Oh, hey Andrew” Payton says  
“Eric” Andrew corrects  
“Right, Eric, sorry” Payton is zoned out staring at Infinity as she speaks  
“You douchebag. My name is Andrew” he spits before looking back at the stage  
“I guess Payton’s right – my life hasn’t always been easy. But my Nana always says ‘Infinity Maybelline. You count your blessings because there are people in this world who have it a lot worse than you’ So I just want to say thank you. To each and every one of you, this is so amazing” Payton turns away from Infinity’s speech and back to Andrew  
“Look I’m really sorry. I was actually just going to come and find you I want you to know that this was a really tough decision for me-“ Payton is cut off by Andrew’s words  
“You know she’s scamming everyone right?” Andrew states matter-of-factly  
“What? Who?” Payton questions  
“Infinity Maybelline. It’s all a big scam” he pauses “She’s not sick she’s faking it” Andrew leaves and Payton is left stunned turning back to Infinity  
“So thank you Payton and thank you St Sebastian’s I’m going to work my butt off for you! Lets go out and win this thing!” the crowd erupts in applause and she holds her face in her hands overwhelmed with joy. She then reaches out to touch people’s hands before looking over to Payton she cheers at him before focusing back on the crowd around her. _Holy shit what have I done_ Payton thinks to himself.


End file.
